God, please give me understanding

Whenever I say things without thinking, or react on the spur of the moment, I am my parent.

Why is it that the very thing you don’t want to be, you are?

I had a very strict upbringing, and rebelled at every twist and turn. When I became a parent myself, I began to understand why my own said and did the things they did. Though their methods were harsh, they only wanted what was best for me. But instead of pulling me closer they only pushed me away.

About an hour ago, I reacted without thinking, and out of my mouth came the words that were spit at me when I was young. I hate that I am that person!

I should have been more understanding. I should have kept my mouth shut, but oh no. I reacted to my grandson, the way my parents reacted to me in a similar situation.

Granted, what he did was wrong but I should have thought before speaking. I should have remembered what it was like to be young. But I didn’t, and so now here I am, rehashing and venting to a computer because, at 3:30am, there is no one else to vent to.